A certain Alex said you were gross and to watch out for you. Do I dare believe him?
You know I get this all the time so I have a prepared response:
Half of me is pretty gross. Watch out for that half. That half will take you in, beat you senseless and nameless, enlist you in his regime and force you to undermine middle America with him. But me - the me who is talking - I like shops, wristwatches and repeating people’s names after they first tell them to me. Time spent with me is pleasant and odourless.
Your call.
