made this today, dubstep remix of my lecturer

made this today, doesn’t have a name. if you think of a good one tell me please

gunface playing village

This is a link to my band Gunface. We are less than a week old. Our debut EP, Greatest Hits (Volume 2), is coming out in 2 weeks.

There is a deep irony that underpins the whole “connected generation” thing we’ve got going on with all this social internet stuff - you know the one, I don’t have to really say it: the closer we appear, the further we get. Simple observational stuff. The thing that really bites though is the blurry gap between content providers and content sharers - it’s this horrible voice, as in “tone of writing”, wherein people write as if they’re writing to no one. Why? Because attention is the scarcest resource of the 21st century. I’m not annoyed by the philosophical implications (cf: aforementioned irony), but I’m bothered because we’re losing honesty, and more importantly, we’re losing our linguistic charm.

“Just watched @musoguy play at @venue. It was fantastic, but now I feel like #funnyfood.”

WHO THE FUCK FINDS THAT APPEALING??!!! THAT IS THE BASIC FORMULA TO 99% OF TWEETS FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT FAMOUS BUT, YOU KNOW, MIGHT BE… ONE DAY… LIKE MAYBE I COULD BE A SCREEN WRITER OR SOMETHING… AND IF NOT THAT I’LL OPEN A CAFE - HOW HARD CAN IT BE? I’VE EATEN OUT HEAPS OF TIMES… ACTUALLY NAH, I WANT TO BE A MUSIC JOURNALIST…

BUT - there is diplomacy, yet - I don’t care about any of this. Why? Because I just landed work experience at the Ad Agency that I want to work at - Ogilvy - AND (capitalised conjunctions! everywhere!) my band, Goodthriller, is recording our first EP this weekend. So fuck yeah life!!!

Everything’s coming up Milhouse.

Also, this:

You know I get this all the time so I have a prepared response:

Half of me is pretty gross. Watch out for that half. That half will take you in, beat you senseless and nameless, enlist you in his regime and force you to undermine middle America with him. But me - the me who is talking - I like shops, wristwatches and repeating people’s names after they first tell them to me. Time spent with me is pleasant and odourless.

Your call.

old favourite

When someone asks you how you are, say “good”.

Do not say “Last night I accidentally got toothpaste in my eye and, although it stung, it broke up the monotony. For a brief moment I forgot about the crippling sadness and thought, how will I get this toothpaste out of my eye?”

Weighed myself before and after and I now I know that I just took a 300g shit.

Anyway, I just can’t stop masturbating to this:

It’s a good life.

Softcore porn is about the only thing I find attractive right now. Lord knows I’m too depressed to even contemplate actual penetration - I fear I’d feel sorry for the girls or something stupid like that (sounding a little too Holden Caulfield for my liking right now) - but well photographed nipples are, without a doubt, my vice.

That sentence, the second of the two just read, contains a clause within a clause within a clause. Mm..